


Locked Doors

by PlayerOneMell



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: A lil fluff, Angst, Anxiety, Cuddling, Eating Disorder, Fist Fight, Happy ending...or is it?, Jeremy has a stutter, Jeremy has an eating disorder, Keep Jeremy safe, M/M, Protective Michael, Spooning, Swearing, boyf riends - Freeform, mostly angst, throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 22:15:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14222931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerOneMell/pseuds/PlayerOneMell
Summary: Jeremy wakes up in the middle of the night, he wakes up with a start. It’s at a time like this he wishes Michael wasn’t a heavy sleeper because Michael’s asleep and Jeremy needs him. Jeremy’s still in Michael’s embrace, but slips out and slinks into the bathroom.Jeremy looks up to see Michael rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Michael doesn't bother to put his glasses on. Jeremy can't see too well through his tears, but Michael takes care of it. Michael cleans up Jeremy's puke, and then carries Jeremy back to bed.“M-M-Micah, I'm s-sorry.” Jeremy sobs out.He didn't want Michael to know.





	Locked Doors

Jeremy didn't mean for it to happen, but it slowly did. Everyone always said he was too skinny, and teased him for it. It all started one day when Jake had overfed him and Jeremy threw up. Jeremy didn't mind the pain, it became a routine for him. He couldn't let anyone know, not a soul. He lost weight, and skipped meals. Jeremy's surprised he could even lose weight with how small he is. It was accidental at first; now it just happens naturally. No one knew, and Jeremy feared the day his boyfriend, Michael Mell, would find out. He never thought he'd see the day. However, one day he's throwing up in the bathroom - and someone follows him in. He has just run out of the cafeteria during lunch. 

Michael has noticed Jeremy being a bit more quiet during lunch these days. It's been happening since the winter break. When Jeremy makes a dash out of the cafeteria Michael decides to follow him. Michael has a guess for what's going on but assumes the worst, he doesn't want it to be true. Then he hears Jeremy throwing up and his heart falls.

“Jer?” Michael's voice asks quietly.

Jeremy coughs violently trying to stop spewing fluid from his mouth. He's on his knees, which are skinned. He's fallen and slid into so many bathrooms that he's almost used to the burning in them. The rubbing of the fabric of his jeans against the burns still makes him squeak a bit.

“Baby…what's going on?” 

Michael leans on the stall door, waiting for Jeremy to answer the question. Jeremy sits down and curls into a ball and cries. He used to cry all the time, now it's just when he throws up. He wishes that Michael hadn't come in here.

“N-Nothing.” He stammers out.  
“Jeremy, I heard you heaving. I heard you puke. That's not nothing, baby.” 

Jeremy doesn't know how to respond to that. He barely knows how to talk to anyone anymore because of his dirty little secret. He never thought he wouldn't be able to talk to Michael, but now he's sitting on a bathroom floor, tongue tied.

“Are you sick?” Michael asks concerned.

Jeremy doesn't know how to respond to that. An eating disorder is a sickness, right? The ringing starts to ring in his ears. He doesn't like it, it pains his heart. How could he ever keep this from Michael?

“Not exactly…not the sick you're th-thinking of.” Jeremy sighs.

That's the answer Michael didn't want to hear. He feels his chest clench, he's so worried. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back. 

“Can I come in?” Michael asks softly.  
“H-Hold on a s-sec, M-Mikey.” 

Alarm bells went off in Michael's head at that exact moment. Jeremy rarely ever calls him ‘Mikey’. It’s only when he is in pain or panicking or as high as a kite. His concern starts growing inside him. He wonders if imagining the worst is true. 

Jeremy flushes the toilet that contains his food he tried to eat at lunch. He reaches up and unlocks the stall door. As he does so, Michael sits next to him, not completely in the stall. 

“Jeremy…” Michael’s voice trails off as he studies Jeremy’s appearance. 

Jeremy's skin is whiter than normal, and it makes Michael's blood run cold. His blue eyes seems to be drained of their normal sparkle. The light behind his eyes has died, how could Michael not have noticed before? Jeremy's smile has been non-existent for a long time. Michael can't remember the last time he's seen it. Michael knows now that his worst fear has been confirmed.

“I'm s-sorry.” Jeremy cries.  
“No, baby, it's going to be alright.” Michael extends his arms to Jeremy.

Jeremy curled into Michael's arms, letting Michael hold him while he cries. Jeremy sobs, and just let's himself be a messy crier for a little while. He didn't want Michael to know. He doesn't still, but he's sure Michael's figured it out.

Michael can feel how small Jeremy has gotten now that's he's come to terms with it. Michael holds Jeremy as tight as he can without the fear of breaking him. How could he not notice that Jeremy is so broken?

“It's not my fault.” Jeremy whispers. “I'm still sorry.”  
“Not your fault?” Michael asks softly. “No, no. We can deal with that later. You don't need to be sorry.”  
“I don't?”  
“You don't, baby. Especially if this isn't your fault.” Michael sighs, playing with Jeremy's hair.

Jeremy's glad that Michael isn't totally freaking out right now. He's never seen Michael so calm in the face of something so scary. Jeremy guesses that it's the fact that he's still crying, and he's scared. Michael always tends to be the brave one in these situations. 

“We should get you home.”  
“What?” Jeremy asks, his voice slightly raising from the whisper it's been in.  
“Jeremy, this is really hard to deal with.” 

Jeremy looks up at Michael. He's not sure if Michael's saying that to himself or to him. Jeremy sighs and keeps his eyes and Michael, staying his his embrace. The bathroom floor isn't too comfortable, but Jeremy doesn't mind being held in Michael's arms.

“I kn-know.” Jeremy sighs.  
“So, I'm going to take you home, and we are going to figure out how to get you through this.”  
“N-No.” Jeremy shakes his head.

It's almost to his surprise because this is absolute torture for him. Sure, it starts off as a joke with Jake, Rich, and Chloe. But now? Now it's just a cruel eating disorder that prevents his stomach from doing it's job.

“No?” Michael asks.  
“It h-hurts Mikey.” He sighs.

Michael felt his heat soften and maybe break just a little bit. He should've said something before, before it had gotten this bad. He didn't want Jeremy to think he was being paranoid, he just wants to protect Jeremy.  
“I know, I know. Jeremy, you're only going to be in more pain if you don't do something about this.”  
“M-Mikey, it's scary.”  
“But it's going to be okay.” 

Jeremy isn't so sure about that. It has been a very long time since he's eaten a full meal, let alone a snack. He tried to a few moments ago in the cafeteria, but it just doesn't seem worth it anymore. It's an awful burning feeling in the lining of his stomach.

“Michael, maybe I should stay like this.”

It's Michael's turn to say ‘no’ this time. How could Jeremy want to stay like this? It's hell and torture and pain. Jeremy doesn't deserve any of those things, not in Michael's eyes. Michael presses a kiss to Jeremy's head.

“Let me help you.” Michael says softly. “Please.”

Jeremy, who had looked down after saying he wanted to stay how he was, looks up into Michael's eyes. His chocolate brown eyes were begging him, pleading. It's the same look Michael had when he asked him to get a pac man tattoo with him, the same look when he begged him to go and buy the second volume of Apocalypse of the Damned, it's the look that Michael gave Jeremy when he wanted to go outside for recess in elementary school, it's the same look that Michael gives when he's asking for something big that is a good thing. It's the puppy dog eyes that Michael gives to Jeremy when it's something he really wants. Jeremy falls weak to then every time.

“F-Fine.” Jeremy sighs.  
“Really?”  
“Sure.”

Jeremy is really unsure about this, but Michael seems to really know what he is doing. Jeremy is still very fearful, but there's always safety in Michael. Jeremy closes his eyes for a second, just enjoying being in Michael's arms for a little bit.

“Wh-What's the plan, Mikey?” Jeremy asks quietly.

Michael always has a plan when it comes to anything. He's thoroughly planned dates, he's planned easy hangouts, he's planned hideaway spots in the school where nowhere goes when either of them is having an anxiety/panic attack. It's something Jeremy admires about Michael. He always knows what to do.

“I'm going to take you back to my house, and we are going to relax. Maybe take a nap. Throwing up can really drain energy. So, we can just relax like we normally do.” Michael looks down at Jeremy. “Then, I'm probably going to make you eat something. Really, really small. No worries. Just a small bite of it is fine. Just to try to get something in your system. I'll take care of you and help you eat a little at a time until you can eat again with no pain.”

Jeremy looks up at Michael and gives a a weak smile, Michael really does love him. Jeremy knows the eating part is going to be the hardest part of it all, but the nap sounds wonderful. He can worry about eating after he naps.

“It's g-gonna hurt.” Jeremy realizes, his weak smile slipping.  
“Yeah, babe, it is. I'm going to try to make this as easy as I can for you, but it's going to hurt.”  
“If you're saying it's gonna hurt, I should be scared.”  
“Why?”  
“Cause you have a high pain tolerance.”  
Jeremy giggles a little bit, it's not like Michael has direct experience with this stuff, he assumes it's his sister or brother who did. Jackson seems to full of himself to do shit like this, so Jeremy is guessing it's Sophia. Although, the only insecure Mell he knows is Michael. He doesn't really want to think about all of that right now.

“Ready to go?”  
“I'm n-not sure how I'll be walking.” Jeremy admits. “I'm usually a bit w-woozy after that.”  
“That's fine, I got you.” Michael picked Jeremy up in his arms.  
“Th-Thanks baby.”  
“No problem, Jer-bear.”

Jeremy smiles at the pet name, Michael doesn't call him that often. He loves it when he does call him that. Jeremy kisses Michael's shoulders and nuzzles into his chest. Michael carries him out of the school. It's snowing outside, and Jeremy shivers closer to Michael.

“Cold?”  
“A b-bit.” Jeremy smiles.

Michael keeps Jeremy close, but while holding him reaches into his hoodie pocket. He pulls out a beanie, and hands it to Jeremy. Jeremy takes the beanie and puts it on this head to stay warm. His cardigan doesn't keep him quite warm enough for the snow, but Michael does. Michael never gets cold.

“Thanks.”  
“Anything for you.” Michael grins.

Jeremy tries to assist Michael as he places him in the passenger seat of his PT Cruiser. Jeremy's smiles a bit more at Michael. He loves spending time with Michael, and he’s glad that Michael’s so calm. Jeremy just wants to stay peaceful like this while he can. 

“Jeremy, when did this start?” Michael asks, starting the car.

Jeremy takes a deep breath. He didn’t ask where so Jermey supposed it’s alright to answer the question. He doesn’t want Michael getting angry with his friends. Jeremy likes having friends, he doesn’t want anything to change the group. 

“Few months ago.”  
“When?”  
“W-Winter break.” Jeremy sighs. “When you were in the Philippines.”  
“Jeremy, that is almost two months ago now.”

Jeremy nods, he knows. He knows that this isn’t fault, but that he could’ve stopped it. He knew when Michael came back from his vacation he could’ve told Michael right away. It’s February now. Not December. It didn’t just happen. The pain was the worst the first time, and Jeremy can still remember it. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“I was scared.” Jeremy sighs.  
“Because it’s not your fault?”  
“P-Partially.” Jeremy looks out the window. “I didn’t want to make you unhappy.”

Michael sighs, as does Jeremy. The two of them always had the goal of keeping the other happy. Michael knows that he can’t really blame Jeremy for never telling him. Michael had struggled with bad insomnia in January and his mental health completely slipped. 

“Thanks for caring, Jer.” Michael sighs. “But Jeremy, you could’ve told me. It doesn’t matter now, but tell me when something big like this is going on, okay?”  
“I p-promise.”  
“That’s my boy.” Michael kisses Jeremy’s cheek, and then goes back to focusing on the road.

Jeremy blushes a little bit, he loves being Michael’s. He supposes that Michael is right, he could’ve told him. However, the secret is out now. Jeremy feels a little better now that someone knows. 

“M-Michael, how did you not notice?”  
“I did.”  
“You d-did?” Jermey tilts his head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”  
“I was scared you think I was being clingy or over protective. But I don’t know…when I saw you dash out of the cafeteria today I…” His voice trails off.  
“You what?”  
“I’m not sure.” Michael shrugs. “I felt the instinct to follow you. So, I did. I just want to help you.”

Jeremy smiles genuinely at that statement. Michael really does care about him, and that makes him feel really good. Jeremy turns to Michael for a moment and then looks back out the window. 

“So, who did it?” Michael asks.  
“D-Did what?”  
“You said it wasn’t your fault. So who’s fault is it?”

It’s the one question that Jeremy really doesn't want to answer. He just keeps his stare out the window and remembers the experience. It was all so forceful…

“Jer, you're shaking.” Michael comments.

Jeremy hadn't even realized. He looks down at his hands and sticks them in his cardigan pockets. Should he tell Michael? He's not really sure. He doesn't want Michael to hurt anyone, but maybe he will just understand. Maybe it's not a question of should, but could. Could he tell Michael?

“It’s a l-long story.”  
“We have all the time in the world. You don’t have to if you really don’t want to.”

Jeremy doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want Michael to know about this, but he sighs and looks at Michael. He doesn’t mind when Michael protects him, and he just wants to feel free from this guilt he’s been feeling. Every second of the clock ticking just makes the secret want to break free from Jeremy. Pulling at his lips to say it. 

“I w-want to.”  
“You do?”  
“Y-Yes.” Jeremy nods. 

Michael parks the car in front of his house and turns towards Jeremy to listen. Jeremy felt his hands begin to shake again, and takes Michael’s hands in his.  
“So, it happened at Jake’s h-house a few months ago.” Jeremy sighs deeply. “You know, everyone makes fun of me because I’m s-so skinny? I’m small, Michael. Who would notice if I got smaller?” His voice begins to shake. “So, Jake and Rich and Chloe decided to have a little f-fun with me. Rich held me d-down and Jake f-fed me. Well, overfed me. Th-Then Chloe made me throw up. A-And I never stopped.”

Jeremy looks at Michael after giving the whole story. Michael looks angry, but not at Jeremy. He also looks a bit sympathetic. He pulls Jeremy into a tight hug. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill them.” Michael says softly.  
“Please don't. They don't know what they've done.” Jeremy sighs, hugging Michael back. “I don't want them to know.”  
“I can't let it happen again.” Michael sighs.  
“It w-won't.” Jeremy sighs in response.

Jeremy buries his face in the fabric of Michael's hoodie. He always feels so safe and warm in the hoodie fabric. Despite how old the hoodie is, it's still very soft, even with the patches. The most important of it to Jeremy is that it smells like Michael. It's then, and only then, he knows he's safe.

“I'll make sure of that.” Michael presses a kiss into Jeremy's head. “Now, let's go take that nap.”  
“Yeah, nap.” Jeremy sighs.

So, the boys went inside and take a nap together. Michael spooning Jeremy, his cheek on his head. Jeremy has the intent of sleeping all day. However, he wakes up sometime around the sunset. He stares out the window as the sun creaks through. Jeremy wonders how long it will be until Michael wakes up. For now, Jeremy just enjoys being held in Michael’s embrace. Maybe everything is going to be okay. 

Michael doesn’t wake up for another hour, and as he does so he kisses Jeremy’s cheek. Jeremy smiles, holding the arm that Michael has around his waist. Jeremy looks over at Michael who’s smiling. 

“Feeling better?”  
“A b-bit.” Jeremy stutters. “M-Michael please don’t make me.”  
“Make you what, babe?”  
“E-Eat.” Jeremy sighs. 

Jeremy could practically hear the sadness that Michael is carrying in his chest. He doesn't want Michael to be so upset. He turns over and looks Michael in the eyes. He knows that he has to eat or Michael’s going to force him. 

“Please, Jeremy. I need you to be okay again.”  
“I am okay.”  
“I want you healthy.”  
“I am.”  
“Oh, really?”

Michael sounds almost angry, and it makes Jermey squeak a little bit. Michael pulls Jeremy out off bed and stands him in front of a mirror. Jeremy doesn’t look at himself, he refuses to. He keeps his eyes on Michael, who has his arms crossed. 

“This is not okay.” Michael comments. “Jeremy, I love you, I do, but look at yourself. You are still beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, but the thing is? You’re not healthy. You are so skinny Jeremy, and not that it isn’t beautiful, but Jeremy…you gotta do something. If I lift your shirt I can play your ribs like a xylophone.” Michael is almost in tears. “It isn’t healthy and I can’t just watch you suffer. I have to do something. I have done nothing but protect you our entire lives! The one time I’m gone something happens?”

Jeremy looks up at Michael, watching the tears run down his face. Jeremy would cry too, but he doesn’t think he has the energy. He would run over to Michael, but Michael’s not finished yet, and Jeremy knows that. 

“It’s an outrage! It’s sick! Some sick fucks did this to you!” Michael exclaims. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here because you know damn well that I would’ve stopped it! Jeremy, this isn’t good. I love you and I want to help. It’s going to hurt, but you’re going to be okay.” Michael sighs. “I promise.”

There’s a silence that’s shared between Michael and Jeremy. Jeremy wraps his arms around his waist as he studies himself in the mirror. He knows that Michael is right. Jeremy turns around and faces Michael to lean up and brush away his tears. 

“I'm s-sorry.” Jeremy practically whispers.  
“I know, baby. I know.” Michael sniffles.  
“But I made you cry, and baby, you never cry.”

Jeremy knows what he just said is one hundred percent true. Michael only cries when he gets severe panic attacks, and Jeremy isn’t there to calm him down. Jeremy kisses Michael softly in that moment. 

“You ready?” Michael asks.  
“Anything to make you f-feel b-b-better.”

Jeremy’s a bit nervous, but that’s understandable. Life is a little difficult when you can't swallow anything. He wants to be okay, for Michael. It's just a lot to go through to be okay again.

“This about you, babe.” Michael wraps his arms around Jeremy waist and kisses his head.  
“I know.”  
“And so?”  
“So, I’m going to eat the food. Or try. A little bit.”  
“One foot forward at a time.” Michael smiles.

Jeremy turns to face Michael and leans up to kiss him. He knows that this is going to hurt, but he just wants one more perfect moment. A perfect moment before the world will rob him from his bliss.

“I love you.” Jeremy smiles at Michael.  
“I love you too, baby.” Michael kisses Jeremy’s forehead. “You’re stronger than this. Whatever it is that’s bothering you. It’s going to get better. I’ll be by your side until it’s over.”  
“And after that?”  
“I’ll still be here. Proud of you.”

Jeremy grins, a dopey grin, at Michael. He knows that Michael’s always going to be here, he always was. Even when he couldn't see him. 

“Let’s do this.” Jeremy says, sounding braving than he actually is. 

Michael nods and heads out of his bedroom. He gets a glass of water and a singular saltine cracker from the cabinet. He gets himself a soda. Michael knows that this is going to hurt Jeremy; it’s going to be a struggle for Michael to watch. However, Michael knows that this is what’s best for Jeremy. 

Jeremy paces Michael’s bedroom, waiting for him to return. His body is already so tense about it. The thought of food makes Jeremy want to throw up. He just wants all of this to be over. Michael would make it okay, Jeremy hopes. He just reminds himself that Michael’s going to get him through this. Michael knows now. Jake, Rich, and Chloe will never get to repeat those treacherous events on Jeremy’s body ever again. Jeremy knows this. He’s safe now. 

When Michael returns, Jeremy is sitting on the bed. Jeremy’s legs are pulled close to his chest, and he looks at Michael. Michael sighs and sits next to him.

“It’s going to be okay.” Jeremy says before Michael can open his mouth. “Michael, I know. I know it’s going to be okay. Why? Because I have you. It’s going to be painful, it’s going to hurt, but you’re going to help me.”  
“I am.” Michael nods, placing the drinks on the nightstand.  
“I’m s-sorry about this.”  
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, and I’m here to help.”  
“I kn-know.”

Jeremy sighs, there’s a cracker in Michael’s hands. Jeremy takes it in his own and stares at the cracker like it’s his worse enemy. Jeremy’s almost scared of the small square, but then Michael leans over and kisses his head. 

“I’m not asking for much.” Michael says, softly.  
“I know.”  
“Just even a bite would suffice, Jer-bear.”

That’s a name that Michael rarely calls Jeremy, and it shocks Jeremy a bit. He feels his heart warm. No, he doesn’t mind this, at all. A cracker is just a cracker. It’s like the crust of bread with five holes in it. Why do they put holes in crackers? Air resistance? Jeremy decides not to think about it. 

“I kn-know.” Jeremy’s back to stuttering, again. “I’m sc-scared.”  
“Buddy, I know.”  
“Wh-Wh-Why do you keep saying that? How d-do you know it’s g-g-gonna hurt?”  
“It’s a story that I can explain once you eat the cracker. Then, and only then, I will tell you of my knowledge.”

Jeremy knows that he could somehow get the answer out of Michael somehow, without eating the cracker; however, Jeremy also knows that eating the cracker will make Michael happy. Jeremy’s seriously worried why Michael knows so much about this. 

“Come on, babe.”

Michael’s voice is low and soothing. It’s the kind of voice Michael uses when he tries to get Jeremy back to sleep after having a nightmare. Jeremy feels at ease, just hearing Michael. The three words in his low voice made him fearless. So, Jeremy ends up eating the entire cracker. He’s fine for about two minutes, and then he starts to give a small sweat. 

“You gotta try to keep it down.” Michael brings Jeremy into his lap. “Eyes on me.”

Jeremy keeps his gaze on Michael. Jeremy knows he has to try to keep it down, but desperately needs a distraction. He grabs one of Michael’s hands in his own. Michael’s thumb brushes against Jeremy’s knuckles. It’s soothing, but not enough. 

“St-St-Story.” Jeremy stammers out.  
“What?” Michael looks confused.  
“Why d-do you kn-know?”

Jeremy is worried about the reason why Michael knows all of this, but he knows it’s going to grab his attention. He knows it’ll keep the pit of his stomach from firing up, though the burning is already starting. 

“You really want to know?” Michael sighs. 

Jeremy nods in response. He could handle all of the pain he’s feeling as he can hear Michael’s beautiful voice. Jeremy doesn’t care what Michael says, just as long as he’s talking. Although, he really wants to hear this story. Michael does research on the internet, but this is not something Jeremy's expecting him to research.

“Well, Jer, I…I just know a lot about this.” Michael sighs, holding Jeremy close. “It was awhile ago, but I’ve struggled with this.” Michael looks away from Jeremy, and looks at the wall. “I know it was bad, but I despised myself. So, I just eventually nursed myself back to health. I learned how to do it. Now, well, you can see me.”

Jeremy can see Michael and his muscular body. Michael’s very strong, and it’s one of the reasons that Jeremy feels so safe with him. Jeremy does feel his heartbreak a little bit when Michael says he’s gone through this. 

“Wh-When?” Jeremy whispers. 

Jeremy is so concerned that Michael thought this was okay to do to himself. Michael's such a wonderful person, how did Jeremy not notice? Jeremy looks into Michael's eyes. 

“Jeremy…” Michael sighs. “It was the beginning of junior year, and by the time it was bad I had lost you. By the time you were in the hospital, I was recovering.” 

Jeremy can tell that Michael's ashamed of himself. He leans up and kisses Michael's cheek. He feels awful that Michael felt this way. If it weren't for that damned quantum technology, he could've helped Michael. 

“It's fine Jer, I didn't need the help.” 

Did Jeremy think out loud? Jeremy can do that when he's very deep into thought, especially when it's about something he's passionate about. Jeremy suddenly notices Michael's look, he's empathetic. He knows Jeremy's pain. Jeremy gives a small squirm.

“Baby, relax. It's okay, I've got you.”  
“It h-hurts.” Jeremy squirms.  
“Shh, shh.” Michael sighs. “Just don't focus on it.” 

Jeremy feels like he's going to throw up, but Michael lays him down. Jeremy feels a little better as he lays on his side in a ball. Michael spoons Jeremy and uses his thumb to rub circles against Jeremy's stomach.  
“Th-That feels nice.” Jeremy said quietly, still sounding as if he were in pain.

Jeremy could feel Michael smile as he began to hum the tune of a familiar song. Jeremy closes his eyes and just focuses on Michael. Michael's thumb rubbing circles on his stomach under his shirt, it's soothing. Michael's humming the tune of a song they listen to whenever the other needs to feel better, there's memories. Michael's body, which is warm, holding him. Jeremy's safe. He can do this. He starts drifting into a sleep.

“Would you lie with me?” Jeremy sings quietly. 

Michael smiles at Jeremy's singing, Jeremy's always had a beautiful voice. Michael kisses Jeremy’s cheek. The song was Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. It is their favorite song to listen to together. 

“That’s it babe, I've got you.” Michael says softly. “If you're tired you can try to sleep this off, it is pretty late.”  
“Mhm.” Jeremy nods and closes his eyes.

Michael continues to hum until Jeremy falls asleep, still tracing circles in his stomach. Michael smiles as he sees Jeremy at peace in his sleep. It’s been so long since Jeremy has been at peace like this. 

Jeremy wakes up in the middle of the night, he wakes up with a start. It’s at a time like this he wishes Michael wasn’t a heavy sleeper because Michael’s asleep and Jeremy needs him. Jeremy’s still in Michael’s embrace, but slips out and slinks into the bathroom. 

As Jeremy’s throwing up, he starts to cry again. He wishes so much just to be normal again. Then again, when was he normal? Normal is clearly never in Jeremy's life, and he thinks about this as he sobs on the bathroom floor. Life isn't normal, perhaps next to it.

“Jeremy?” 

Jeremy looks up to see Michael rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Michael doesn't bother to put his glasses on. Jeremy can't see too well through his tears, but Michael takes care of it. Michael cleans up Jeremy's puke, and then carries Jeremy back to bed.

“M-M-Micah, I'm s-sorry.” Jeremy sobs out.  
“I know, I know. You tried and I'm so proud of you.” Michael says softly, smiling lightly.

Proud of him? Jeremy can't connect the dots there. Why would Michael be proud of him? He failed. He couldn't keep down the food. Jeremy gives Michael this confused look as Michael sits next to him on the bed.

“You tried to eat food.” Michael puts an arm around Jeremy. “That's progress! You kept it down for a really long time.”  
“B-Because I sl-slept.”  
“Better than nothing.” Michael kisses Jeremy's head.

Jeremy nods in response. It is better than nothing. Sure, his mouth burns with the taste of his own vomit, but it's something. He finally swallowed something that wasn't his own saliva. That's progress.

“Better than nothing.” Jeremy smiles at Michael. 

A month goes by, Jeremy continues to let Michael help him out. At the start? Jeremy had a rough time; now Jeremy is doing a lot better. He's currently sitting in the cafeteria just with Michael. Everyone else has skipped, god knows why.

“Jeremy, you don't have to do this here. I know it's rough.” Michael sighs.

There's a simple salad on Jeremy's lunch tray. Jeremy stares at it, he doesn't hate food as much anymore. No. Life is better now. He could do this, right? Jeremy decides to drink some water first.

“Babe, really.”  
“Michael! I kn-know I don't have to. I k-kind of w-w-want to.” Jeremy comments. “M-Mikey…I have to be normal again.”  
“Life isn't normal for us Jeremy, it's something we must accept.”  
“No sh-shit.” Jeremy sighs.

It's in that time that Michael realizes they're alone at the table and gets extremely suspicious of this fact. Michael looks around and then looks at Jeremy.

“They don't know.” Michael mumbles. “Jeremy, why aren't they here?” 

Jeremy sighs, once again. He knows why everyone isn't here. This morning Jeremy suggested everyone went out for lunch, but as lunch neared he informed the group that him and Michael wouldn't be going.

“Out.”  
“Is this why Jake asked me why I suddenly wasn't coming to lunch?”  
“Y-Yes.”  
“You did this.”  
“They c-can't know.”

That's when Michael decides he's had enough with this shit. Jeremy was hurt, borderline abused by these people. These people, Rich and Jake and Chloe. They have to know. They have to know what they've done. Michael decides this.

“They have to.”

Jeremy looks at Michael quickly, noticing the change of tone in his voice. It was soft and calming a moment ago, and now? Now, it's serious, frightening. Jeremy's never had to deal with Michael angry at him, not often at least.

“M-Michael…”  
“Jeremy! It’s sick! They can’t do this to you Jeremy. I’m pissed and it’s time they know it. They still tease and make fun of you.” Michael stands.  
“It’s o-okay.”  
“It’s anything BUT okay Jeremy!” He exclaims. 

Michael realizes he’s being a little too loud. He blushes and sits down, hugging his knees to his chest. Michaels pissed, but he doesn’t want to make a scene. Michael really hates attention, and Jeremy can tell he’s embarrassed. 

“Micah…” Jeremy sighs. “B-Baby? Are you okay?”  
“Sorry.”  
“It’s okay.”  
Is it though? Jeremy’s fear is that Michael would act irrationally like this, and now he is. Jeremy doesn’t want Michael to bring attention to this matter. Yes it’s a big deal, but he is going to deal with it. Right? 

“I have to do something about this.”  
“I’d r-r-rather you didn’t.” Jeremy sighs.  
“Jeremy…I have to. They hurt you.”

Jeremy knows that Michael would do anything for him, but is this overstepping? Jeremy knows that Michael is stubborn; Once Michael makes up his mind about something his mind is made up. There’s no stopping him. There’s definitely no point now. 

“F-Fine.”  
“Really?”  
“S-Sure. Just…nothing bad.”  
“You’ll let them know?” Michael raises an eyebrow at Jeremy.  
“It’s almost o-over now, right?”

Michael nods in response. Jeremy’s been doing a lot better now, and has gained some of his weight back. He’s been doing so much better, and Jeremy is feeling better overall. He’s had a good past month. 

“Yup.”  
“So..g-go ahead.”  
“Alright.” Michael shrugs, trying to be casual. 

Jeremy knows he might’ve just made a huge mistake, but the rest of that day goes normally. And the next day. The next two. Until it’s Friday. Jeremy is enjoying a free period with his friends, Michael next to him. 

“Stop, just stop.” Michael says suddenly. 

Jeremy looks to Michael, is this going to happen? He looks pretty upset. Is Michael okay? What’s he about to say? It turns Jeremy’s stomach as Michael shoots a glare at Jake. 

“What is wrong with you, Mell?” Jake questions.  
“I know what you did.”

Christine, Jenna, and Brooke decide angry Michael is not a Michael that they want to deal with. Chloe goes to leave with them, but Michael stops them. Michael closes the door to the student lounge and locks it. 

“M-Michael?” Jeremy asks, softly.  
“Don’t worry baby, I promised nothing bad.”

Well, at least Michael promised that, right? However, Jeremy knows that him and Jake are probably about to get in a huge fist fight; Jake and Michael tend to fight a lot. Some of the fights are for fun, but some are serious. This is serious. 

“I know what you did to him.”  
“What is wrong with you, Mike?” Rich teases. 

That burns Michael, and Rich knows it. Michael hates being called ‘Mike’. It’s not something Michael ever wanted to be called, ever. His brother calls him that, and there’s no one Michael hates more than his brother. 

“You fucking tortured my boyfriend. Why kind of sick fucks do that to someone!” Michael exclaims.  
“What are you talking about?” Chloe asks, crossing her arms and sticking out a hip.  
“You force fed him by holding him down and made him throw up!”

Jeremy loves when Michael’s angry and protective, but Jeremy does not think he has ever heard Michael this angry before. There’s a glare in Michael’s brown eyes and anger pulsing through his veins. He is furious. 

“So what?” Chloe says.  
“It was a little fun!” Rich chimes in.  
“What’s so wrong with that?” Jake shrugs.  
“Fun? Fun? You think that’s fucking funny! Not even my worst enemy deserves torture like that!”  
“Your boy is a twig, Mike.”

Jeremy watches this all happen with worry. Rich is right, he is a twig. However do the other three realize that he is a little bit more twiggy than normal? 

“So I see. He is even more of a twig because of you three!” Michael exclaims.  
“It was all in good fun.”

That’s when it happens. Michael grabs Jake by the collar of his red jacket on each side since it’s unzipped. Michael pins Jake against the wall and stares him down. 

“It’s not good fun. You gave Jeremy an eating disorder, and you don’t even care? How fucking dare you! He is nothing but good to you people! He is the kindest person ever, and this how you thank him? You tease him and torture him and make him insecure?” Michael sneers at Jake. “Well, he might tolerate, but I fucking can’t, you ass.”

Chloe and Rich seem to be getting a little frightened of the tone in Michael’s voice. Chloe and Rich wish they could escape, but they can not. Jeremy would get Michael to stop, but he knows it’s pointless. 

“He is a human with basic human rights is he not? He deserves care and love and to be able to eat a damn meal! Can you imagine not eating? I bet you fucking can’t. You know why? Because it’s fucking awful! You are a demon, Jacob.”

Jake’s glare does not fade as Michael speaks to him. Jake does not like showing weakness, especially not in front of others people. However, Jake starts to squirm. 

“Michael, be careful!” Jeremy says quietly, but sternly as he see Jake start to plan. 

In that moment, Jake sticks his knee into Michael's stomach. Jeremy jumps up, then Michael punches Jake across the face. Jeremy winces in surprise at watching the violence and sat back down. 

“What was the for, you little bitch?”  
“That was for hurting my boyfriend you indecent scum.” Michael hisses.

Jeremy watches this fight roll out. Jake and Michael fight sometimes, but Jeremy’s never sene them so violent before. He can’t stand it. Jeremy isn’t sure where this surge of confidence came from, but he knows he must stop this. 

“Stop it, stop it, both of you! Michael you said nothing violent and I thought you meant it!”  
“Sorry, Jeremy.” Michael sighs, letting go of Jake.  
“Your boyfriend is a dick.” Jake comments as he’s dropped on the floor.  
“No Jake, you’re a dick. You tortured my boy.”  
“And I’m okay now.” Jeremy stops Michael from going any further. “Or I will be.”

Jeremy sighs in unison with his boyfriend. Jeremy looks down and helps Jake up off the ground. Sure, Jake did fuck him up, but Jeremy doesn’t hold a grudge. He’s pretty sure Jake, Rich, and Chloe were drunk when they did it anyhow. 

“I’m sorry, Jeremy. I didn’t mean to hurt you long term.” Jake sighs.  
“Me too.” Rich and Chloe pitch in.  
“Good. Now was that so hard?” Michael questions, holding his grudge. 

Michael can hold a grudge unlike Jeremy and Jake. Michael does not forgive so easily when the mot precious thing in his entire world gets hurt.

Eventually, Michael frees Rich and Jake and Chloe from the student lounge leaving him and Jeremy in there. Michael feels slightly bad about bruising Jake a bit, but Michael’s bruised a little as well. Jeremy sits on a couch with Michael; Michael’s hands holding Jeremy’s.

“Are you really okay?” Michael asks softly.  
“I’m g-getting better.” Jeremy nods. “M-Mikey I’ve been gaining my weight back and I ate that s-salad at lunch.”  
“It’s progress.”  
“I kn-know.” Jeremy smiles softly. “Just a little bit more time.”  
“A little bit.” Michael presses his lips to Jeremy’s forehead. “I’m proud of you, baby.”  
“Thanks M-Micah.” Jeremy blushes. 

In the coming weeks, Jeremy gains all of his old weight back. Jeremy’s still a small, twiggy, pale boy, but now he is a normal, healthy weight. He can even eat full meals by the time Spring rolls around. 

“I d-did it.” Jeremy smiles at Michael.  
“I know, I know. I'm so proud of you. You’re very strong.”  
“I t-tr-try.”

Michael smiles, and pulls Jeremy into a hug, kissing his head. Life seems so good for the two boys in that moment. Michael’s mental health is good, and Jeremy is doing well right now. Well, in that moment. 

Jeremy sighs, sitting in a bathroom alone a few months later. It’s a beautiful spring day in New Jersey. Everyone is out having a beautiful day except for Jeremy Heere. Who’s just thrown up in a bathroom. However, this time he isn’t so scared. He knows he can face it. He can do this, as long as he has Michael by his side. 

“M-Michael?” Jeremy asks, as Michael had answered the phone call.  
“Yeah, Jer?”  
“It’s h-happening again.” He sighs.  
“Don’t worry baby, I’m coming. We are gonna get you through this.”  
“Th-Thanks Michael.”  
“Anytime.”

Michael is at Jeremy’s house in an instant. Michael's always there to save the day and dry Jeremy's tears. Jeremy smiles and kisses Michael's cheek. There's nothing Jeremy couldn't do with Michael Mell by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! The first paragraph is actually a starter I use on shamchat. All of these thoughts are however originally my own. I just want to say thank you to the Michael who did rp this with me, and shoutout to the Michael on shamchat I told I was writing this. I actually normally roleplay as Michael and write Michael fics.
> 
> I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile, this fic took up a lot of my time. I promise I have lot more in store for you guys. I have more chapters of "A Prince's Heart" which will hopefully be posted soon, and I made a series! PlayerTwoHeere and I have been writing a series. It's part of "In His Eyes" and I hope you guys have read that! If not? I totally recommend. 
> 
> Anyhow, I just hope you guys really enjoyed this work! It took me a really long time and I worked very hard on it. See you guys next time I post! <3


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